First family holiday

So it’s our first ever family holiday after our camping trip. I never did finish telling you how that went.....Part 2 coming soon!  We decided to go to Centreparcs even though again I had my reservations. I thought it was another ‘camping in disguise’ holiday. If you had read my previous blogs, you will know that i’m not really a fan of camping. However, I was pleasantly surprised. We went to Longleat as we had some friends going too. Once you re-shape your mind into what a family holiday will look like, you start to relax a bit. Doing what you want when you want is a distance memory. However, it doesn't make it less enjoyable. So when you see other parents trying to keep their kids entertained at lunchtime with various books or toys, or you will suddenly see a child bolt out from set of doors, only to be rugby tackled moments later by their dad, it all becomes a familiar pattern of a family holiday. The difference between here and other places is that everyone is in the same boat, so there is no need to apologise or hang your head in shame when your child decides to wear their dinner instead of eating it. Everyone understands and has probably just gone through the same thing. 

The first day we decided to go to the water park. As it was indoors, we thought the heat would be appealing to both myself and Isaac. He seems to have inherited the African gene which has an aversion to the cold. The last couple of years of swimming lessons started to come flooding back as we did the towel dance in the changing rooms. Once Isaac was suited and booted in his armbands, we went straight in the pool. It was nice and warm for me, but probably too hot for most people. I definitely thought we could get used to this. 

We decided to go straight for the wave tunnel. The machine was charging up so It had a gently current taking you round in a loop. Isaac isn’t normally one for danger. In fact he seems to have a ‘spider-sense’ which kicks in just before he is about to try something new. However, he was grinning like a cheshire cat all the way around. "He’s loving this," I thought, so I cranked it up a notch as we went for the slides. Too much? Only time will tell. As we sat in the tunnel waiting for the lights to go green, I wasn’t sure who was more nervous. Isaac or me. This was our one chance to either embrace the adrenaline, or permanently scar my son for life.........

We're back.

A few people have been asking me what has happened to the dad blog. Well after a bit of a break, we are going again. We have a lot to share. We had our first holiday, we've had 'fun' with removing the cot bars and many more interesting and challenging events. Today we resumed swimming, which was interesting as if you have read my previous blogs about this, you will know that Isaac does not take to swimming like the proverbial 'duck to water.' However, after a brief bootcamp swimming experience in Centre Parcs, he was laughing much more than he ever did. Dare I say it, he actually looked like he enjoyed himself. Then, daddy ruined the experience by getting shampoo in his eyes and him screaming the changing area down. I'll talk about this more in the holiday blog, but what we realised is he doesn't like the cold. Which isn't really a suprise as:

A: It is a natural survival instinct to not freeze to death.

B: Neither do I.

So the pool being that bit warmer and daddy being that bit warmer did help. How I had missed our weekly crotch kicking, eye scratching bonding experience which ends with a Brazilian style wax as I take off my swimming shorts, due to the ridiculous design of the netting that us fellas need on the inside of our shorts. If anyone has any tips on this area, feel free to share them as I desperately need them!!

Anyway, that's all for now.

Our first camping trip part 1.

Earlier last year, we went camping for the first time. I need to make it clear that from the start that I can't stand camping. The idea of sleeping in a tent fills me with dread. Why would you work hard to put a roof over your head, to then rough it in a field sleeping in a tent?

My in-laws love camping. When we said we were going, we were asked whether we had an array of equipment that was straight out of the Ray Mears handbook. They thankfully lent us their 'weekend tent', and put it up in our back garden for practice. However, my petulant "how stupid do you think I am?" chip, kicked in and even though I was trying to listen to the instructions, I wasn't. I compounded the lie even further, when I was asked if I needed to go over it again, and I replied, "nope, I got it all the first time." Considering camping is 90% about your tent, I had a funny feeling that this would come back to bite me.

We pulled up at our campsite in Southwold. I started to have flashbacks of my camping experience as a Cub Scout. "You're doing it for your family," I kept telling myself. I could see some of our friends and they already had their tents up. As we got out of the car, some of the group gave us a look. It reminded me of the look we got from residents in a certain part of San Francisco that tourists shouldn't go to, as we ventured deeper and deeper into Haight Ashbury. They seemed slightly deflated and I couldn't figure out why. Anyway, I jumped out and started to get the tent set up. Only when I pulled out the 4 sheets of our tent, and the 60-piece bag of ties and pegs, did I realise the extent of my 'not listening' during the demonstration. In my best, "don't worry, I'll sort it manner," I attempted to erect the tent. Everything and everything got pegged in the hope it would stay up. Luckily it did.

Later that night, we found out the reason for the look our friends gave us earlier. They had of course endured the first night with their child and knew we had the same to follow. Everything spooked him and it reminded me of the early stages of sleepless nights. All I kept thinking was we were in for a long weekend...........

Our first slightly aware but moist Christmas.

Last year, Christmas wasn't really on the radar for our son. He wasn't really up to much except for rolling around and trying to get onto his feet. This year was a different affair. He seemed to be aware that parcels with wrapping paper needed to be opened and he got a cheer every time he did! 

You may not be aware, but Christmas is an interesting time in our household as we have my wife's birthday on the 24th and my son's birthday on the 30th of December. So there are quite a few presents which need to be kept out of sight, otherwise, our son will open them. It isn't always to play with what is inside. Mostly, it's because now he sees opening presents as a game. If I was his age, I would probably agree!

My son's first real awareness that Christmas was coming was our trip to Santa's grotto. He actually went to 3 in total, and the his experience seemed to improve with every different version of Santa he encountered. We were apprehensive as his first ever experience of Santa  wasn't a pleasant one. Santa's temporary residency was in an outdoor tent. There were candles around him and some decorations hanging down from the roof. Unfortunately it was windy at the time which  made the tent feel like we were in the middle of a seance and combined with a big guy wearing a costume saying "have you been a good boy," my son was understandably spooked.   This time however he did seem less scared by Santa especially when one of his middle class replicas gave our son some Green and Black's organic chocolate. Luckily for us, he didn't see the chocolate raisins, as this is to him, what catnip is to cats. We even got a picture without having to pay an extra £5,000.

Unfortunately though, our son wasn't very well on either my wife's birthday or Christmas day. An ear and throat infection ensured we had a 'wail' of a time all day and all night. It also brought with it a certain amount of 'moisture', which seemed to end up looking like facial jewellery from his nose to his cheek . He didn't really want to open anything  until 27th when he started to feel better. Then he was opening everything. Birthday presents and presents we hadn't yet given to people. Think about it though. We try to get kids excited to open their gifts and tell them they can't open others. That sounds pretty unreasonable to me and explains the many tantrums we had trying to wrestle different pairs of socks from his moist hands.

With all seriousness though, we are slightly concerned with how materialistic we make Christmas. One person giving a gift to a child might not seem like a problem, but they don't realise that 30 other people are doing the same. It can get quite tricky for family too as they can see it as you rebuffing their love and affection. So we have decided to space out his gifts and even put some in the loft for later in the year. A friend said there is a certain amount of surprise in toys that make a reappearance after their stint at the Priory for traumatised toys.

So hopefully he has been broken in for the craziness of Christmas. Let's hope he sees it as we do. A time of the year where people eat too much, drink too much and moan at each other about how much needs doing or who has or hasn't bought what ( note the tone).

Great news.

Hi, it's been a while since my last post. My son has started nursery. His speech and sense of humour have come and he his latest trick is to come into our bedroom, slap me really hard and say, "get up daddy." Although, as it isn't that clear, he could be saying, "Where's P-Diddy?"

Earlier in the year we went camping. I didn't blog about this as on the way back, our friends were involved in a serious car accident. Our friend was left with a broken neck. His partner had to have her arm pinned and their son had to have surgery to his face. It didn't leave me wanting to talk much about the camping as it didn't really leave a great experience in our mind. I can still remember saying to him, "I will see you in a few hours," only for them to not make it home for some time.

However, we are pleased to say that they are all on the mend. He has had his neck brace removed and is walking fine. As part of his rehab I HAD to take him to watch The Dark Knight Rises. It was a SHEER coincidence that it was a film we both wanted to watch and our partners didn't. Even better news is that yesterday his partner gave birth to twins. It must have been awful to not have been able to hold his son for months, so now he has 3 kids, he'll be making up for it!

This experience taught me a few things. Do you remember at school when you asked someone to be your friend or best friend? We don't need to ask whether we are friends as adults. We automatically become friends through our connections and shared experiences. Obviously we aren't kids anymore, but I think we can take for granted the connections we make. We didn't realise how much we cared for our friends until they were in trouble. So we will not take it for granted again. Whether you meet people through NTC or birthing groups, connections are important.

So the camping blog will be up shortly as it was an interesting experience!

Once you become a parent...

It's great fun being a dad. You're the punch bag, climbing frame and the human dustbin at mealtimes. However, Now I have started on a new role....the parent. It has been coming for a while, but there has been a definite shift in my mindset recently. This may seem like an obvious thing to most. You're a parent as soon as your child is born. That is true, but you don't start actual parenting until your child starts to realise that they have the ability to do whatever they want and at any time!!

First it starts with a finger up the nose. Then it is maybe a finger up your nose. They start then to explore, push the boundaries then comes the words I heard a lot when I was younger, "NO!". When you start saying 'no' with more regularity and you are met with more resistance, parenting has begun. You are setting boundaries, they are pushing them. You then have the public meltdown where your child spins round and sprawls on the floor in floods on tears. Usually somewhere public too. You feel the embarrassment but don't want to let them know that they've got your attention, at the same time removing them from the scene as quickly as possible. Another is the side hold, whereby you have your child across your body with legs and arms thrashing like a seal being attacked by a killer whale.

For me it felt that I was always telling my son off. It wasn't actually the case. It was just I wasn't the fun dad 24/7 anymore. Isaac seems to like some parenting though. He obviously doesn't like the part where he can't do what he wants. But he likes the challenge of trying to and he seems to like making up afterwards. So I'm slowly embracing my new role. Nurturing him without always chastising him. Giving boundaries without clipping his wings. What I am realising is what they actually want isn't always that bad. In one case, Isaac screamed trying to get a door open. When it was opened, he just wanted to stand the other side of it. Once he satisfied his curiosity, he gave up being a pain in the bum about not getting his own way. So every now and then, I pretend he's having his own way! (anyone got a decoy remote control?)

Everyday I have more respect for my parents.

Don't become my client.

Being a dad is great fun. You can come out with cliche comments such as, "money doesn't grow on trees." You become frozen in time with technology and you now fall asleep on the couch with your mouth open. However, these joyous attributes do come with a price. You can start to get slightly porkier around your mid section. As a personal trainer, I was slightly surprised at this, but I think it is inevitable and here is why.

Sleep is massively affected when you become a dad. For most people, you burn a higher proportion of fat when you sleep than any other time of the day.

The proportion of macro nutrients changes. This is the level of proteins, fats and carbohydrates that you currently eat. Without knowing, you will most likely be consuming more fat, sugar and carbs than you did previously. How? You will be eating more food on the go for a quick burst of energy.

The amount of good quality protein will go down. Good sources of protein (free range chicken) tend to have more Omega 3. Omega 3 is useful for fat burning.

You may start to have an extra glass of wine to 'take the edge off' the day's activities. Over a week or month, it adds up. Especially if your body isn't burning fat as well as it used to.

You're getting older. Your body and metabolism is probably different to when you were in your early 20's. Different meaning you will get fatter, quicker.

Bad posture. Your core will weaken due to poor posture adopted when sitting, slouching and carrying your kids.

The thing is to not beat yourself up about it. Even elite level athletes have porky times of the year. The important thing is to recognise it as a temporary state. Once it becomes the norm, you will become one of my clients 5 years from now. This isn't just about vanity. It is also about overall health and also the health of your back. Most of the dads I speak to have back issues which are either caused by carrying kids or brought on by them.

Here is a quick guide to managing your dad belly.


Get a regular food shop which doesn't involve buying too much crisps and sweets. Think about it. You will most likely eat nearly everything you buy. If you or your partner stays or home, you will graze on anything that is quick and most likely sugary. Get your food delivered and plan some meals in advance. Start with a Sunday dinner, breakfasts, healthy snacks and a few main meals.

Don't eat cereals everyday. Start having a couple of boiled eggs, a few pieces of fruit and a small handful of nuts for breakfast.

Once a week have a late breakfast if your're not hungry. Sometimes your appetite will be off so if you have been doing the night shift or just don't feel like eating, don't.

Try to up the amount of fruit and vegetables you have. Your immune system will get run down quite quickly and you will pick up bugs very easily. Try to eat some green veg twice a day. Maybe even consider getting your blender out and making your own juices.

Keep your exercise sessions short. 20 minutes is enough at this stage. Circuits are ideal or a mixture of weights and cardio. Aim for something 3 times a week.

Keep the coffee and croissants to a minimum. Coffee + pastry = getting fat really quickly. The coffee shop phenomena is what fuels the health and fitness industry. As long as there are mums eating croissants and drinking coffee, gyms and trainers will always be in business.

The important thing is to have enough energy for your family, so busting your backside for hours in the gym or on the streets isn't wise in my opinion. So for the first 6 weeks, wear your dad belly with pride. Settle into a routine and start with some short sharp workouts. A word of caution though. Your partner will start to feel self conscious about her body shape changing so don't talk about your own training too much. Just get on with it and help out by doing some food planning. At least let her know if you will not be back for dinner. Remember, this is more than vanity. If your kids see you being healthy, they are most likely to be healthy themselves.

Have fun!