Today was swimming/clinging day with Isaac. I'm getting used to the familiar faces at the pool. I'm getting even more familiar with the etiquette of not making conversation with women in her swimming costume. Unknown to me, a conversation should only last 2 levels. Question and answer. Never even dream of elaborating on what you have just said otherwise you will get the "i'm really not interested and I really have to go" look as the mum uses their child as an excuse to get away as if their child is playing with a samurai sword left by the pool side. I joke but I am guilty of this too.
So today I was determined to get there early. I am already known as the late dad and have decided to break the habit by getting there early. Isaac seemed to settle down more and there was the smallest improvement from last week. Even though he benefited from our better time keeping, I can't use him as my reasoning for wanting to be early. It was purely to prove to myself and the other mums that I can get there on time. I would say this is true for others too.
So all through the class I was humming "I was early " in the tune of Frere Jacques and karma decided to exact revenge while in the pool and I noticed that my locker key had come off. I looked around and couldn't see it. I knew it would be near as the kids hardly create a wake with their paddling and it is a shallow pool. The teacher noticed I was even less coordinated than usual and asked if I was ok. I said I dropped my key and another women said "Oh it's here. I noticed it earlier and......" I'm still waiting for the end of the sentence. At that point, the other mums glided away in perfect formation like a team of synchronised swimmers and left one of their own to explain her actions. I got the feeling that the other mums saw the key too and avoided it as if it were green kryptonite. Then she said "sorry, you'll have to go and get it. I don't want to get my hair wet." She moved back in line with the others and I picked it up with my foot. This was a mum who I and my wife knew before swimming. I thought at the very least she would stick together when times got tough. It was difficult to get changed with the knife still stuck in my back but at least I know where I stand now. I now know two things about mums at the pool. Firstly, It always bothered me how women appeared to look like they had suckers on the underside of their feet in the pool, while I was slipping all over the place. Now I know they were working furiously beneath the surface to prevent their hair from getting wet. Secondly, the changing room floor is so dry because mums don't shower after they swim as they don't want to get their hair wet.
Monday, 25 June 2012
Wednesday, 20 June 2012
Things only parents do.
This is a quick list of the strange behaviours I have adopted since becoming a parent. You may have your own. Feel free to add to the list.
1. Thought about or actually showered in the dark for fear of waking children.
2. Moved everything up out of your young child's reach so you now have a million things in one place.
3. Used a turkey baster to wedge a door shut. That's just me!
4. Scratched your clothes clean.
5. Been asked to repeat something you said, only to have forgotten it because you're tired.
6. Made lists to remind yourself to not forget something, then lose the note.
7. Only drink cold tea.
8. Eat standing up.
9. Get used to the smell of kid's poo.
10. Keep smelling kid's poo long after you have changed the nappy.
11. Overslept, making you late for work and thought it was totally worth it.
12. Laugh when your child sneezed in your face.
13. Know the characters to at least 3 kids shows.
14. Not showered until after 12.
15. Sometimes thinking about not showering as you think it takes up too much time.
16. Sitting down on the toilet and saying, " Aaaaaahhhhh"
17. Answered the door without makeup or barely clothed.
18. Either been punched in the boob or kicked in the crotch.
19. Watch a dvd in no less than 3 attempts.
20. Crept around the house as if it had been boobytrapped with IUDs.
1. Thought about or actually showered in the dark for fear of waking children.
2. Moved everything up out of your young child's reach so you now have a million things in one place.
3. Used a turkey baster to wedge a door shut. That's just me!
4. Scratched your clothes clean.
5. Been asked to repeat something you said, only to have forgotten it because you're tired.
6. Made lists to remind yourself to not forget something, then lose the note.
7. Only drink cold tea.
8. Eat standing up.
9. Get used to the smell of kid's poo.
10. Keep smelling kid's poo long after you have changed the nappy.
11. Overslept, making you late for work and thought it was totally worth it.
12. Laugh when your child sneezed in your face.
13. Know the characters to at least 3 kids shows.
14. Not showered until after 12.
15. Sometimes thinking about not showering as you think it takes up too much time.
16. Sitting down on the toilet and saying, " Aaaaaahhhhh"
17. Answered the door without makeup or barely clothed.
18. Either been punched in the boob or kicked in the crotch.
19. Watch a dvd in no less than 3 attempts.
20. Crept around the house as if it had been boobytrapped with IUDs.
Monday, 11 June 2012
Tag Teams.
If anyone has ever watched WWE (formerly WWF) they will have seen a tag team in action. A well choreographed match will involve one of the teams taking a serious beating and left on the brink of defeat. You think It's all over for them but as they tag in their partner, the momentum swings back to them. They usually go on to win the match. Or you have the other scenario where the opposing tag team are arguing which is then exploited by the other team and they steal the win. The parallels between this and being a parent are surreal.
When you are up 4 times in the night, it starts to wear you down. You try to talk yourself into staying strong, but the mind talk takes over and you sometimes fall prey to your emotions. You want to scream and shout but it doesn't make any difference to your child. Screaming may bring a brief rest bite from their tears. However, their look of disbelief that YOU have lost your temper soon makes you realise that it hasn't helped the situation. What does help is being part of a tag team. My wife told me on several occasions she felt like like the the partner who really needed to tag out to get some recovery.
The first time I was tagged in, in hindsight,it was too late. Now I can spot the signs and where possible tag in a bit sooner. Guys, no matter how early you have to get up for work or whatever, you need to be ready to tag in. I never realised how much the short break to refresh yourself was needed until I did night shifts. I really respect single parents as just knowing my wife was available when I did the night shift was a great comfort.
A note of caution. Your opponent isn't your child or children. The true opponent is your perception of what is happening. Your young child isn't thinking "i'm going to cry all night to annoy my parents." They don't know how long or hard your day has been. This may annoy some parents but the truth is it isn't the end of the world that they are crying all the time. However, your mind tells you it is. It's important to try to separate truth/fact from our thoughts as they will and often lie to us. Sometimes I've got into a train of bad thoughts and catastrophise about how tired I'll be in the morning. Instead of just getting on with the task at hand and seeing what happens. Tagging in your partner can break that cycle and give you some space to think. Second note of caution. Most tag teams end up arguing as they think one partner does all the work while the other takes the victory. It's always important to remind your bruised and battered partner that It's team work. Never feel you deserve the high 5 after settling your child after a few minutes when your partner has been at it for hours. It's the sum of all the parts that create success, not the individual.
When you are up 4 times in the night, it starts to wear you down. You try to talk yourself into staying strong, but the mind talk takes over and you sometimes fall prey to your emotions. You want to scream and shout but it doesn't make any difference to your child. Screaming may bring a brief rest bite from their tears. However, their look of disbelief that YOU have lost your temper soon makes you realise that it hasn't helped the situation. What does help is being part of a tag team. My wife told me on several occasions she felt like like the the partner who really needed to tag out to get some recovery.
The first time I was tagged in, in hindsight,it was too late. Now I can spot the signs and where possible tag in a bit sooner. Guys, no matter how early you have to get up for work or whatever, you need to be ready to tag in. I never realised how much the short break to refresh yourself was needed until I did night shifts. I really respect single parents as just knowing my wife was available when I did the night shift was a great comfort.
A note of caution. Your opponent isn't your child or children. The true opponent is your perception of what is happening. Your young child isn't thinking "i'm going to cry all night to annoy my parents." They don't know how long or hard your day has been. This may annoy some parents but the truth is it isn't the end of the world that they are crying all the time. However, your mind tells you it is. It's important to try to separate truth/fact from our thoughts as they will and often lie to us. Sometimes I've got into a train of bad thoughts and catastrophise about how tired I'll be in the morning. Instead of just getting on with the task at hand and seeing what happens. Tagging in your partner can break that cycle and give you some space to think. Second note of caution. Most tag teams end up arguing as they think one partner does all the work while the other takes the victory. It's always important to remind your bruised and battered partner that It's team work. Never feel you deserve the high 5 after settling your child after a few minutes when your partner has been at it for hours. It's the sum of all the parts that create success, not the individual.
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