If anyone has ever watched WWE (formerly WWF) they will have seen a tag team in action. A well choreographed match will involve one of the teams taking a serious beating and left on the brink of defeat. You think It's all over for them but as they tag in their partner, the momentum swings back to them. They usually go on to win the match. Or you have the other scenario where the opposing tag team are arguing which is then exploited by the other team and they steal the win. The parallels between this and being a parent are surreal.
When you are up 4 times in the night, it starts to wear you down. You try to talk yourself into staying strong, but the mind talk takes over and you sometimes fall prey to your emotions. You want to scream and shout but it doesn't make any difference to your child. Screaming may bring a brief rest bite from their tears. However, their look of disbelief that YOU have lost your temper soon makes you realise that it hasn't helped the situation. What does help is being part of a tag team. My wife told me on several occasions she felt like like the the partner who really needed to tag out to get some recovery.
The first time I was tagged in, in hindsight,it was too late. Now I can spot the signs and where possible tag in a bit sooner. Guys, no matter how early you have to get up for work or whatever, you need to be ready to tag in. I never realised how much the short break to refresh yourself was needed until I did night shifts. I really respect single parents as just knowing my wife was available when I did the night shift was a great comfort.
A note of caution. Your opponent isn't your child or children. The true opponent is your perception of what is happening. Your young child isn't thinking "i'm going to cry all night to annoy my parents." They don't know how long or hard your day has been. This may annoy some parents but the truth is it isn't the end of the world that they are crying all the time. However, your mind tells you it is. It's important to try to separate truth/fact from our thoughts as they will and often lie to us. Sometimes I've got into a train of bad thoughts and catastrophise about how tired I'll be in the morning. Instead of just getting on with the task at hand and seeing what happens. Tagging in your partner can break that cycle and give you some space to think. Second note of caution. Most tag teams end up arguing as they think one partner does all the work while the other takes the victory. It's always important to remind your bruised and battered partner that It's team work. Never feel you deserve the high 5 after settling your child after a few minutes when your partner has been at it for hours. It's the sum of all the parts that create success, not the individual.
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