Cheer up grumpy pants

We had a birthday party bonanza last weekend. 1 on the Saturday and 1 on the Sunday. I was really looking forward to seeing friends that we hadn't seen for a while. The first was across London, which is a journey only a truly sadistic individual will enjoy. When we got there, the party had all the elements for a great day. However, I felt a certain level of discomfort which made me appear grumpy. The second was round the corner and I thought that the reduced travel time would allow me to relax more. It did to a certain extent yet I still at times felt the same level of discomfort and I think I have figured out why.

Firstly, it has nothing to do with the party or the hosts. They were both lovely parties. It is to do with my primary role for the day. As a dad, I have to some degree surrendered the desire to enjoy myself in an activity. I would never voluntarily suggest going to a party with my son. It just never enters my mind. So long as my son and wife are happy, then I am happy. I could be sitting on a bed of nails or having my chest waxed ( I'll tell you about that another time). If my son is giggling and my wife is happy, it was worth it. I used to see dads at parties and wonder why they were so miserable, but now I get it. They aren't there primarily to enjoy themselves whereas your partner or wife hopes they will enjoy some part of the day for themselves.

Here is another thing my wife pointed out. When she is out with our son and he gets fractious, the other mums are mostly understanding and they carry on with business. When a dad is out with his child and they start getting fractious, they want to pick their child up and run as far away as possible. I think I initially used think "aaahhh, I've broken him" during one of my son's 'moments'. One time I ran off in the middle of saying, "I need to tell you something really important." It is my instant reaction to remove my son from his current environment when he kicks off. I saw a couple of dads at one party slowly lose it which culminated in one saying to his son who was dressed like a lion, "for the last time stop roaring, we're going home."

Our friend experienced the same thing on Sunday. She could only relax when the cake and everything else had been done. So it isn't really a male thing. I just notice that more dads are like this as they probably don't socialise with other parents as much as mums do. So the next time you want to say "cheer up grumpy pants" to a dad, just remember that somewhere (sometimes very deep inside) he is having a good time.