Potty training.

This is something that neither me or my wife had ever contemplated would be a big problem. We often felt that we would try it in the summer as we could cope with accidents better if our son was outside. Parenthood constantly reminds me to make a plan, and then throw it in the bin! It was a little easier being mainly in the garden, but it raised a whole heap of challenges I will share with you. Warning!! If you are squeamish or you don't want to know, don't read this.

I'll cut straight to it. Toilet training has been one of our biggest challenges as parent so far. What was interesting was as usual, parents are unwilling to talk about their struggles. All we heard was, "it's fine. It only takes a few days and they're fine." I took issue with this advice as it sometimes came from the men who were not always around to clean up the mess. In most cases, I chalk up any apparent success as a chance occurrence, unless backed by some proper evidence. Otherwise parents think they have the secret formula because it worked with both their kids. They then tell their friends. Some people swear by it and they then tell their friends. Then someone writes a book. Then you throw the book out in frustration. The problem is, for the small percentage of people who it works for, there is an even larger percentage who it doesn't work for. This is the danger with advice. I work in health and fitness and the biggest problem I face is people who give advice who aren't qualified to. They are trying to be helpful, but they don't know how then to help the person if their advice doesn't work. This then just leaves the person in a worst state than when they asked for help. This was the case for us with toilet training. 

We had a week from hell where everyone was in tears. I remember chasing one of my son's beetroot stained stools around the garden while he was trying to wash his soiled swimming trunks in his paddling pool. The amount of times the bucket and bleach made an appearance got to the point where there was no point putting them away. You wash and scrub your hands so much to try to get the smell of bum off them. The house constantly smelled of poo. It appeared to be distressing everyone, so we decided to calm it down. Some thought we should have carried on, however, when we started again, it clicked with him. We were also much calmer which helps. I don't think kids wake up and think, "today I'm going to do a massive poo in my pants to annoy my parents." So you need to find a way to cut them some slack when you see they have a tail in their pants, accompanied by 'that smell'.

When I consulted other parents about this topic, I found a large number of people had varying degrees of success. So my advice to you is do not believe the hype, as parents lie! So I thought I would give my insight into this. It isn't advice, it's merely what worked for us. Here is my guide to reducing the stress you might face. 

• You can't rush nature. The child needs to be ready physically to hold on and to push. Trying to shame a child will not make a difference if they can't turn off their tap.  
• You need a lot of patience so you also need to be ready. Don't try to be a tiger mum or Superdad by trying to get it done in a weekend to fit your schedule. Even when they start using the toilet, they will have accidents. 
• My son found doing a wee quite funny and he seemed to always do it in the bath. So that told us he can push when he wanted to. I had to show him that he could make the same noise in the toilet, which was fun.............after the 131st time.  
• Reward/bribery works a treat. We couldn't get our son to sit on the toilet, so we let him watch his favourite programme. When he was on there for 30 minutes, we realised that we needed to wean him off it! However, it got him to sit down. When he did his first poo, we made a big deal of it. So every time he then did a poo, he would shout, "I've done a poo. Yaaayyyy". It works for now, but we may have to phase out this celebration before he becomes an adult. 
• Toilet training survival kit for when you are away from home. Nappy bags, 5 pairs of underpants, 3 pairs of quick release trousers, 3 spare t-shirts, sanitising wipes. Also pack a spare pair change of clothing for yourself too.
• Toilet training kit for home. Bucket, bleach, Oust, patience. 
• Put them in old clothes that you would't mind either having to cut them out of, or covered in poo and wee.
• Don't be scared to stop it and try it again. As both child and parents need to be ready. If you're all reduced to tears and going nowhere, have a few weeks off. 
• Hang on in there. The light at the end of the tunnel is seeing your child doing their business on the toilet. Nappy and wet wipe usage calms right down and you start to lose the bum smell from your home.