Turn the phone off!

I was chatting to a client about spending quality time with my son and how I don't want to miss these years in the name of staying busy. He agreed and said a friend of his was waiting for the day when he would find the time to spend with his son. Last week his son said he was moving out. He felt he had missed all of the 18 years of his son's life. This is real worry of mine and I decided to write this blog.

When you work all day and come home to your family, It's pretty difficult to switch off. My wife could be talking to me and there's only 25% of me listening. Even though this may be classed as a skill which most husbands need, as a dad, my mind is racing with all sorts of thoughts. Sometimes, I need to write a note to not forget to do my to do list.

More recently, I have noticed that I'm not as present when my son is having his dinner. I'm checking the phone, maybe replying to e-mails. Things which could wait and may seem fairly innocuous to most. However, I'm choosing to use the precious time I could be spending with my son on other things. I even caught myself replying to a message while my son was in the bath. The more I thought about it, I didn't like it one bit. I want to know that there is time each day set aside for quality time with the family. Otherwise bad habits form and you can feel resentful that your family is dragging you away from things that need doing (which actually don't need doing at that particular moment).

So I have decided to turn my phone off from the time I get in until my son goes to bed. It's only 2 1/2 hours, but it is quality time I can't get back. Kids will go through the phase where they will not want to be around their parents so I need to enjoy this time as much as possible. Day 1 done and it felt so much more relaxing than normal. I'm just a husband and dad for a few hours and I allowed myself to relax too. There was no emergency which needed me to use my phone. No one needed a quick training tip. I'd got into a bad habit and as the internet or your e-mail is so accessible, it is easy to make yourself busy. I also don't like knowing I 'need' my phone.

Even though half of the time Isaac was running around and trying to poke my eyes out, he seemed to like having his daddy there. I think my wife appreciated the extra support too. I'll endeavour to make this a regular habit. Life's too short and I don't want to think I wasted valuable time checking e-mails or Facebook instead of connecting with my son.